Title: Beer Bottled Bride
By: Amanda Feedback: sweety167@yahoo.ca Rating: PG-13 maybe an R later… Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with DCS. But the OC is all mine! Summary: Lewis had always been the bride’s maid…but now he’s the bride…er…groom. Chapter Completed: August 14, 2003
“A toast to my baby brother and his beautiful bride,” Steve Carey raised his beer bottle for the toast. The gang was having a make-shift celebration for Drew and Lily’s upcoming marriage in his living room. “May this one last longer then all the others,” Steve concluded as everyone drank.
“All the others?” Lily questioned in her Southern drawl, “Just how many others Drew?”
He laughed nervously, his eyes shifting around the room at everyone but the woman beside him, pleading for one of his friends to bail him out.
“It’s…it’s really not as bad as it sounds,” Steve began to stutter and fidget under the Southern Belle’s glare. Suffering the wrath of Mimi only proved to heighten his fear of women.
“He just married Kate,” Lewis swigged from his bottle, “And Nikki.”
“Don’t forget Mr. Wick,” Oswald added with his wide grin and helpful nod.
“…and that chick from Vegas,” Lewis pointed out to the surprised Lily.
“Thanks guys,” Drew gave his unapproved face.
Steve piped in to defend his brother, “But those were all mistakes and conveniences.”
“Uh uh,” Oswald shook his head, “He loved both Kate and Nikki,” he helpfully corrected the older Carey brother.
“OSWALD!” A chorus of his name came to correct him, as well as a slap, from Lewis, to the back of his head. Which he rubbed, pouting.
“Listen Lily, I can explain,” Turning to face her, Drew now stammered to work his way out of this mess.
“No Drew,” she patted his hand reassuringly, but obviously flabbergasted by the whole thing, “It’s…okay. Of course we’ve both got…pasts.”
“HUH!” Kellie huffed from her spot in the corner, getting glances from everyone else. She just smirked and shrugged it off in her usual nervous manner.
“And really…” Lily continued, still holding her to be husband’s hand – her grip getting tighter, “what’s a couple of divorces.” Her face was stretched thin with her forced smile; but of course she really did love Drew. She just didn’t love the litter of marriages.
“Well actually, Nikki and Kate didn’t count since I was still married to Wick,” he plastered a smile on his face, playing it all off a punch line.
“Plus bigamy’s illegal,” Oswald chirped in again, followed by Lewis’ slap. “Ow,” he rubbed the spot on his head.
“Who needs more beer?” Kellie suddenly jumped up. It was all reminding her of her love for Drew. And she would much rather be drunk.
But before the word left her lips, a sea of hands were raised. Asking if any of these guys wanted more beer was asking if the rest of the population needed oxygen.
“I’ll help,” Lily rose, surprising everyone as she followed the other blonde out to the kitchen.
“Wow, I never actually realised how many times I’ve been married before,” Drew leaned in closer to the guys, putting he’s beer on the table. He looked suspiciously to the kitchen, the doubt and worry of another impending failure setting in.
“At least you’ve been married,” Lewis added from behind his bottle, his tone bitter.
“Whadda ya mean buddy?” Oswald cast a concerned look at his friend.
He sighed heavily at the confused eyes of his friends. “I mean, I’m the only one who’s never had a wedding,” he started slowly, as if explaining it to a child – and with Oswald that was pretty close. “You got to almost marry Kate. Drew’s had like four and Steve,” he was unable to hold back the shudder, “married Mimi.” Lewis was slipping into an ‘always-a-bride’s-maid-never-a-bride’ attitude.
“Aww, don’t worry buddy, one day it’ll happen for you too,” Oswald patted his friend on the back, giving a sincere smile.
Lewis just glared, standing now because he was out of beer. It was just a reflex; when the bottle’s empty go and get another. “Well at the rate I’m going, that one day will never come,” he shrugged his lean shoulders.
“Oh come on Lewis,” Steve started, “You just never know when the best women in the world will come walking into your life.”
As if on some unseen cue, there was a knock on the front door. And Lewis, being the one on his feet, made his way to the door.
“Hey, the girl of your dreams might be on the other side of that door,” Drew laughed, “Coming here to marry you.”
Ignoring his friends, the lanky figure just pulled open the door. The action revealed, of all things, a woman. She was tall and somewhat plain, only her multi-coloured hair and nose stud made her stand out…and her height. It was hard to ignore the mix of blonde, black and brown hair on top of the overly tall frame.
It was her differences that struck Lewis, spreading a goofy grin across his face. Maybe the guys were right.
“Ah,” the woman poked her head in, getting a good look at the faces, “I’m looking for…Drew Carey.”
Or maybe not. With that Lewis deflated. “Real funny,” he glanced upward as he spoke, retreating back to his chair.
“I’m Drew Carey,” he jogged over to the bewildered person in his doorway, letting her step in, “What can I do for you?”
She was obviously nervous with the whole set up. “Um,” she turned so her back was to the others, who just leaned closer to hear, “I’m Arianna…and…” Giving up on words she finally reached into her bag and pulled out the infamous ‘Marry Drew’ beer bottle, “Is this still on?” The desperation clear on her face.
“Ah…I think you’d better come over and sit down,” he lead her toward the couch, as everyone’s heads snapped back.
Arianna sat on the well-worn couch, between the Carey boys. She was obviously uncomfortable being the centre of attention here, and with not knowing what was going on. She had come answering the beer-bottle ad as a last resort and was now seated in the middle of the group.
But luckily this is when Kellie and Lily finally returned, with the much needed beer delivery.
“She here to marry Drew too,” Kellie slurred, handing off beers as she came to finally sit on the arm of the couch, next to Steve.
“Actually, yah,” Oswald cracked open his bottle.
Lily, looking concerned, sat on the arm next to Drew.
“I would never usually answer a beer ad,” the stranger was quick to defend herself, glancing between the group. “But…you’re gonna think this is weird…”
“Doubt it,” Lewis snipped, “We live in the park,” he motioned to himself and his best buddy.
“And I had a marriage proposal posted on beer bottles,” Drew smiled, reminding her of it. “I used to wear women’s clothing,” Steve nodded sympathetically.
“And I once had breast implants,” Oswald nodded and pointed into the air, like checking off an invisible list of weird.
“Enough,” Arianna held her hands up in surrender, “I believe you.” She cleared her throat; “I have to get married in one week to win a family bet.” Her confession didn’t faze any of them, “If I don’t, I lose the family business to my married step sister, and god knows what she’ll do with it.”
The group just nodded.
Again it was Kellie who broke in, “Well Drew’s already getting married in a week.” She proceeded to down her beer.
Oblivious to Kellie’s turmoil, Drew patted Lily’s hand, “That’s right. I’m real sorry though…and wish there were something we could do help you.”
Oswald’s face contorted in thought – then suddenly he leapt from his chair, “I Got It!”They all turned to face him.
“Huh, no,” shaking his head, he sat again. His brow furrowed deeper and he rubbed his jaw. “I Got It!” he was on his feet again gaining everyone’s attention for a second time. “No,” and again he sat back down. He was in deep thought now – all the little wheels in his head turning. “I know,” the tone was slow and deliberate this time, like the smile on his face, “It’ll solve her’s and Lewis’ problems.” He was proud of this one; “She can marry Lewis.”
“She obviously doesn’t have a problem marrying a complete stranger,” Kellie quipped, “and they don’t get much stranger than him.”
“It certainly would solve the problem,” Steve agreed, getting nods.
Arianna slowly raised her hand, “Uh, hold on…who’s Lewis?” Her eyes darted around the room.
With a lopsided shrug, he waved his hand for her.
To that she nodded, slowly catching up to what was going on around her, but still lost, “And who are the rest of you?”
“I’m sorry,” Drew laughed at himself, “these are my friends…” he began introducing the faces around the room, “Steve, Kellie, Oswald, Lewis, and this is my lovely fiancée Lily.”
It then fell on her turn, “And that would make me Arianna, the pathetic girl searching for a husband in a beer case.” This time she laughed.
“Guess it doesn’t make me all that weird after all,” Drew smiled and bobbed his head in satisfaction.
“Actually Drew,” Arianna bit her bottom lip and looked him over, “it still does.” She sympathetically patted his back.
