Title: He’s a Strange Brew
Chapter Completed: September 9, 2003
“What’s it like having a woman living with you guys?” Drew questioned Oswald as he pulled a chair up to their usual Warsaw table.
“Informative,” his friend nodded thoughtfully behind his beer, “Did you know that if you wash a towel after one use it’ll stay white?”
Drew cringed at the thought of what that poor woman had gotten herself into. He just hoped that the family business was worth it, then a thought lit up in his head, “Any clue on what her family business is yet?”
Oswald shook his head in the negative, “Haven’t really talked to her. She and Lewis have been prepping to meet her parents. He has to meet them before the big day. I think they’re coming around today.” He shrugged.
“Thanks for the recap,” Drew spoke under his breath.
“It’s amazing how fast a week goes by,” the slow witted comrade continued without hearing him, “Before you know it, it’ll be the wedding day.”
“HUH!” Kellie huffed as she slammed a pitcher onto the table and stormed off.
“What’s with her?” Drew watched the barmaid with concerned eyes, getting only a clueless shrug from the delivery boy. “Hmm,” he couldn’t look away from her, “I’d better go see…” Drew pulled himself off the chair and started toward the bar.
“Watch it pig!” he had bumped into Mimi.
“Hey I was blinded by your eye shadow,” he quipped, holding his hands up to shield his eyes.
“Bite me doughboy!” the multi-coloured former assistant spat back with her usual venom.
With one hurtle averted, Drew again attempted to talk to Kellie. But this time Lewis got in the way.
“Hey guys,” the lanky figure bee-lined to the table and quickly downed a glass of beer that was originally in Oswald’s hand. Leaving the other man pouting at his empty hand.
“Aren’t you meeting Arianna’s parents tonight?” Drew inquired.
“Uh huh. On my way over there now,” he nodded, stealing another filled glass.
The other two exchanged confused glances and made quizzical faces. Drew put his hand up and gestured for Oswald to allow him to speak first.
“Then what are you doing here?”
“I’m horrible at meeting the parents,” he confessed, quickly having another drink.
“Stop that!” Oswald pulled the glass away, drinking it for himself.
“Don’t worry buddy,” Drew patted the taller man on the back, “There’s no real reason to worry. It’s not like her parents need to like you…and she’ll still marry you no matter how strange and creepy and generally weird you are,” Lewis shot him a look, “All I’m saying is that you don’t have to worry. So go already.” Drew shrugged and sat back in his chair.
“Yeah buddy,” Oswald looked up at him, “And you did promise,” he nodded in his usual way.
Sighing, Lewis agreed. He did promise and had to go. So, he did.
X x X x X x X
Taking a deep breath Lewis walked into his park-cabin kitchen. He had just enough time to fling his jacket over the back of a chair before Arianna ambushed him.
“Lewis!” she clung onto his arm, a desperate crazed look on her face.
“Hi,” he replied in a slow voice, unsure of how to react to the frantic female.
“Where have you been—“ she was cut off by a shrill voice from the living room.
“Arianna dear?”
The woman shuddered as she linked arms with the confused janitor, “Ready?” Not waiting for a reply she lead him into the other room. Really Lewis was a little confused by the rush and it showed on his face.
“Daddy, Susan, this is Lewis,” plastering on a bright smile to hide her nervousness, the young woman introduced the two sides, “Lewis this is my father—and his wife.”
Mr. Roberts, her father, extended his hand, “Lewis my boy.” He was an aged man who clung to his youth, mostly thought his younger wife and attempt at trending clothes, “Call me Fred,” he chuckled and smiled as the pair shook hands.
Turning to the step-mother, Lewis again extended his hand.
In regular snobby fashion, she looked him up and down noticing the janitorial uniform – he had come straight from work and the Warsaw – before cringing her hand away, “Susan,” she offered in her snide tone.
The anxious tension between them hung thickly in the air. The foursome just sat staring silently at each other.
“I do wish you’d remove that god awful thing in your nose,” came Susan’s helpful suggestion.
Arianna stretched a fake smile across her face, coming across as more of a sneer then anything else, “Anyone want a drink?
Before the last K sound left her mouth Lewis answered, overly zealous, “Beer.”
“What the hey, I’ll have a beer too,” Fred smiled as if he were letting loose.
All eyes fell on the fourth party, “Just water, thank you.” Even the thought of drinking a glass of water from this place disturbed her.
Quickly Arianna disappeared into the kitchen, thankful to be out of that room.
Lewis, on the other hand, wasn’t as lucky. He sat in the armchair, twiddling his thumbs nervously as the pair watched him.
“So, you’re marrying my Arianna?” Fred seemed to talk just to listen to the sound of his own voice.
Shaking her head at her husband, Susan spoke, “Did she tell you she needed to take that little aisle walk before the end of the week or the company goes to my Stacy and Ronald?” She was staring intently at Lewis, ignoring her husband’s pleas for civility.
Anxiously he watched the kitchen, praying for her to return.
“You know Ronald is a corporate lawyer and already has plans for increasing profits,” she continued to yammer on.
“By laying off half the employees,” Fred muttered.
“It’s called ‘downsizing’ dear,” she hissed to her husband.
Lewis wasn’t the least bit interested in their banter, but was overjoyed when Arianna returned, handing him a bottle and offering the same courtesy around the room.
“Is that beer for you?” her father asked, a teasing tone to his voice. All he got was an annoyed nod from his daughter. “You’re not nearly old enough.” He laughed, holding the bottle away from her.
“Dad, I’m nearly thirty,” she complained.
“Not for a couple more years,” he corrected with pride.
Lewis on the other hand spit out his mouthful of beer and began coughing wildly. It was then that they both realised that they had never played the numbers game.
“Sorry I….went down the wrong way,” he cleared his throat.
“Yes,” Susan eyes the two suspiciously, “So tell me mister…Lewis,” she read from his embroidered nametag, “about yourself.”
Finishing his beer he spoke, “I’m a janitor at Drug Co…”
That confession seemed to raise a reaction from both parents – a type of murmuring.
“And I’m a member of MENSA,” he added for good measure.
“Really?” Arianna was unable to control her surprise and even awe.
“Well isn’t that interesting,” Susan seemed to be taking note of every reaction, “Seems we have an idiot savant on our hands.”
Lewis became defensive, “Hey! I may be an idiot but—“
Before he could finish with his rant, Arianna silenced him with a gentle smile and shaking of her head.
“Rather,” she sneered under her breath.
“Him and his friends co-own their own business,” the bride to be eagerly added – showing both that she knew details about him and that he had direction in his life. It was that fact that her father found interesting. “Buzz Beer,” she motioned to the bottle.
The old man turned the bottle around in his hands, inspecting it. It was this action that allowed him to catch sight of his watch face, “Oh dear. I’m sorry to have to cut this short sweetheart, but we have a plane to catch.”
“We’re vacationing in with Stacy and Ronald in the South of France,” Susan was sure to show where the family-interest lye. Getting a quick sneer from Lewis.
“Okay,” Arianna was both saddened and pleased with the news. At least she wouldn’t have to put up with Susan, but she rarely saw her father since he married that harpy. “But what about the wedding?” she pouted.
“I’m sorry honey,” he got up to kiss her cheek, “But it was such short notice and all. You understand?”
She just nodded softly.
“Be sure to take lots of pictures,” Susan snipped, rising from her seat.
Lewis certainly wasn’t sad to see them go, but noticed the change in Arianna. And it was such a sad change. He justified his dislike of it as not wanting to have to put up with it. Instead of wanting her to be happy. That way he was still a bastard.
“Wonderful meeting you,” Fred smiled and bid his goodbye to Lewis and one to his daughter before he was ushered out.
With a painted on smile Susan made an attempt to follow her husband out. She was more then happy to get away from the quirky little house in the middle of the park. Not to mention the occupants.
“We’ll be sure to send you those pictures,” Lewis glared at her, getting a startled response, “Oh, and Arianna will be keeping her nose ring. It was the first thing I noticed and I think it’s rather cute.” Stretching a sarcastic smile across his face, he shut the door in hers.
When he turned from the door he was faced with Arianna’s smiling face. He just shrugged.
She moved on him again, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his unresponsive lips. “Thanks,” she whispered before retreating.
And again the beer bottled bride left Lewis in a state of frozen surprise.
